I think that Balimo will be our kids' first memory of home. Even though Nova was almost two and a half by the time we moved here, it struck me again today how unsettled and constantly changing our life has been in the past few years. We've only been living in Balimo for nine months -- and still, it feels more like home than any other place I can imagine right now. We're definitely growing roots here by establishing relationships, building friendships, and developing routines of life.
Our mornings at home usually start with the same barrage of questions: "Mom, is Agi Jackie coming today? Where is she now? Is she walking? Can I look to see if I can see her on the road?" As long as Jackie is around, Nova is her faithful companion; if Jackie is sweeping, Nova will find a broom to sweep. If Jackie is pulling out weeds, Nova will be pulling weeds (or picking flowers). If Jackie arrives in a blue shirt, Nova will come to me with the first blue shirt she can find, in need of an urgent change of clothes. It is great to see how well Jackie responds to both kids, and their excitement about her provides me some time to work on unfinished or new projects. We are so grateful for everything that she does!
It is great to see Nova connecting so well with another adult, but it has always been a priority for us that our children have the opportunity to play and build friendships with other kids. When we were asked if we would be willing to serve in a remote location in PNG, our answer was "Yes, so long as there will be other kids for our kids to play with." We were assured that in a country like this, there are always kids around -- and while that is true, it can be difficult for expatriate kids to connect deeply with local kids.
Our children, on various levels, grow up as a novelty. Their hair gets touched with curiosity, and they are pointed at from across the street when out on a walk. Everything that they do in public is given special attention, and if they try to play with others they are catered to and given preference with every move they make. If they even begin to say the words "I want," someone will be listening eagerly to grant their request. The interactions are strange to watch, but in the first few months of our time in Balimo, this was reality for Nova. As we passed the three month mark in our new home, I realized that while everyone knew our names, we really hadn't formed any natural relationships.
So began my quest to create an environment in which the priority for our family was actually put into action. We started by walking around the area with a ball, calling kids down from their houses to play. After several weeks of making our rounds, we started to get to know some of the local children and their families a bit better. Once that happened, it opened the door to start inviting friends to play at our house. With time and repetition, I could see the shift of perception: Nova was first identified by her skin colour, then by the toys that she had, and finally as just another kid. It seemed that each relationship went through these stages, but with time and persistence she has been developing real friendships. It is so rewarding to see her interacting with other kids in a natural way, building critical social skills such as the art of give and take.
Relationships like these are what really deepen our roots. Without close relationships, it is easy to pick everything up and move on to the next place, just like a tree without strong roots can easily be uprooted and blown away. Relationships are the cords that bind us and the roots that plant us. Our children don't have any strong memories of home in another place, which makes it easier for them to grow roots here. Though it may not be quite as easy for us as adults, we have definitely felt the same process happening in the last few months.
In March, we decided to start a Teen Night to provide a safe and engaging space for teenagers to socialize and develop life skills. What started out as a shy and quiet group with different members each week has turned into a consistent dozen of eager faces. Through the medium of board games and group activities, these teens have found a special place in our lives; I think that we look forward to Friday evenings almost as much as they do!
With each week that passes and each new name we learn, we are integrating into the community here in Balimo. Life has it's ups and downs, but we have been shown God's faithfulness to each of us many times. On Sunday as we read through the book of Ephesians together, verses 14-21 of Chapter 3 spoke as if it were a prayer into our life:
For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worth in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end.
Amen.
